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Diary

22/07/04 0930-1800:Work

23/07/04 0830-1700:Work

24/07/04 DEVON

25/07/04 DEVON

26/07/04 Work

27/07/04 Work

28/07/04 Work & Mark's Birthday

This is my new home situated right in the downtown of the electronic metropolis. No rent, no bills and no awkward flatmates. You're all welcome to come and stay for a while, make yourself at home, no-one's gonna be kicked out for overstaying their welcome (I promise this time)! Hope everyone had an enjoyable Hannukah, Ramadan and Christmas and welcome to the start of the year 2004. I've never made any New Year's resolutions and I'm not going to start this year. Don't expect anything more from this website than you would from me when you're with me. I'm as boring, as pretentious, as argumentative and as self-obsessed as you would normally expect me. Live with it, like it or leave. But please shut the door when you go, it can get awful chilly here on my own.

Above all, this website is a portal to my life, to get me organised and on track. I'm no great corporatist and I'm not being sponsored to display the logos of various banks and business below, they are simply to direct me to the suppliers that, for lack of a better one, I use for various services and/or products in my life. So, before any of you get on your high horses about money-grabbing fat cats and Indian sweatshops, keep it shut and take a look at yourselves before critcising others. I didn't choose to live in this country, I work with what I got and try and make it work for me. I could go live in Cuba or spend a lot more money on an article of clothing made in Scotland, but I don't much like Fidel's human rights record, although I admire his education and health system and his beard, and my wardrobe is driven by my wallet, not my morality. Morals can't buy me Italian-made designer suits. Until they can, its WalMart and Tesco all the way!

Besides organising my life, I thought I would use this opportunity to share some of it with you guys. I'll try and keep you up-to-date with some of the unevents that occur in my world, or at least try and hype them up so they don't sound boring to you. I get excited over the smallest things, try and be happy for me. Any "hot off the press" news will be shared in the, well, err..., NEWS section. It tells my news. Live with it! I'm going to be including a Photo section, covering friends/ family past & present, places, events oh and those crazy fluffy things that piss on our beds and throw-up on our carpets, that we then allow to lick our faces and sit on our laps. God bless 'em! I'm including a section entitled Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ). This is my effort to hush many of those nasty rumours and/stories about me and my excuse for a life. If you have any questions you want answering, drop me an e-mail and I'll add it to the list or if ever any of you actually feeling like writing me, hearing my voice or even seeing me again, then it would be great to hear from you. I tend to spit a lot less now, so if that ever was a fear, please, we can work around it. Not all these pages are currently up and running and I will, of course, be adding others. I know you can't wait, but you're going to have to just calm youself down. Uncle Ben, as well as making great rice, is doing his best to get this quality s*** out to y'all. (And yes I am a big black man from Alabama, you just weren't looking properly before.)

NEWS

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TICKETS NOW AVAILABLE - You can now reserve your seat for Centre Stage's Cabaret production. Dates are 14th, 15th, 18th, 21st & 22nd May. Contact Benedict to book tickets.

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BOLLOCKS OUT IN SEPTEMBER - 'The Book of Political Bollocks' by Mark Hanks & Benedict Garrett, published by METRO Books is due to be released this September. Check it out in your local bookstore.

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"AN INTELLECTUAL WORLD - I LIKE DELICATE NATURE!"

The words from Billy Bargain's Bargain of the Month. A three compartment lunch-box from Poundland in Stratford, East London bought for, yes, £1!!! Beautiful.

Banking: HSBC, Egg

Automotive: Fiat

Opticians: Boots

Gym: Fitness First

Nutrition: GNC

Mobile: Virgin

Telephone: BT

Letting Agency: Peach Properties

Council: Tower Hamlets

Electricity: e-london

Agency: Crone Corkill

Immigration Canada